Tusker Project Fame 4...and Shanel

OK.....ordinarily I would not watch anything by Kenyans that has been aped from the west. Some concepts are very good ideas but because you cannot steal and develop someone else's idea, once you do you end up with something that is worse than a joke. I love American Idols, veeeery much. For the simple fact that the winners or even the top three end up in the lime light in a major way with major contracts and you can bet your Chapati Ndondo that the winner was worth it. Judge Simon Cowell is awesome and keeps it real, unlike someone in this our Kenya who tries to to be like him.....and fails, miserably. All in all, people like Jennifer Hudson, Fantasia, and the Teddy Bear Rubben Studdard to name a few are products of these projects. Very good concept, very good idea.

Soooooo, the copy cats that we are, we decided to do the very same thing, very same idea, very same concept and we did not even try to tweak it to look a tad different and the product we get is "Tusker Project Fame." My ghaaaad!!! I know for a fact that the E.A.B.L. guys do not really care who you are and if you can sing, to them it's all about marketing their beer. We had a Kenyan winner who's voice would send a snake back to it's hole in TPF 1, then they denied the beautiful Nakaya a chance in TPF 2 and gave it to Esther (Uganda)who's voice sounds like my pet lizard, Sospeter when he has a cold. In came Alpha...(Rwanda)well he tries and I like him coz he does not feel good....and he's my boy. Now we have TPF 4 and the navy black people of Sudan are auditioning, Remember that Tanzania has never taken the crown so you have two guesses where the next winner will come from.

Anyhu, my beef is not with the winners because frankly speaking, I sail in the same boat with the E.A.B.L. people...I JUST DO NOT CARE. I love however watching the auditions because people have this notion that they can sing and end up making fools of themselves. This season however, my highlight was some mama who if she could talk as good as she looks, many would die of envy. She is a judge from Rwnada, her name is Shanel. Now I am told that Rwanda has some very pretty mamas but they just can't speak English. When I was watching the show , I spoke to myself and I said "self?" and self said "Mmmmh?" "Don't you think it would have been a good idea if they would be allowed to sing in their own dialect?" Self agreed with me. After all, in these initial stages what they are looking for is stage presence and voice, nothing else. Buuut, this mama called Shanel, thinks that wenging is putting "Rs" in every word...it will then sound American or something close to it. She said, Exhibit "A" Ir'm a sirnger, and a jurdge, horping to harve furn at tursker project farme. Exhibit "B" carn you sirng in your normal voirce?" Exhibit "C" Mayrbe if you carme in twor years you wirll harve improved!!!! SLAP, TWICE, HARD " Never have I prayed sooooo hard for a black out because I could not stand her. And that is not even the bad part, she came wearing a sun dress, nothing wrong with that, she looked good in it until she raised her arms and I could swear a kuku almost jumped from under her arms. That is to say she had not shaved the pits. No I am not lying, (if you saw that leave a comment) You know us Kenyans, we love to wait for an opportunity to hate, it's what we do best.On facebook many were just wishing that she could come to Kenya for just one day and open her mouth. Oh she will crawl back to the vodka bottle she came from and take a vow of silence.

Shanel, my word, you sound sooooo well with your mouth shut.

Everything You Wanted To Know About Lady Gaga's VMA Meat Dress!

Jaws dropped when Lady Gaga took the stage at the 2010 Video Music Awards last night wearing meat from head to toe. And, surprise — her VMA meat dress was made with REAL MEAT! Franc Fernandez, the Los Angeles-based designer/artist behind the dress, confirmed that it was real meat when I watched his interview this morning. But now that we know it's REAL, we're left with so many more burning questions for Franc Fernandez! Did it smell? Was it bloody? Was it heavy? Was Lady Gaga comfortable? So, I listened to the interview with designer Franc Fernandez and MTV to find out all the juicy details. Find out everything you ever wanted to know about Lady Gaga's meat dress below!

What was your inspiration?

Franc Fernandez: "I was contacted by her stylist, Nicola Formichetti, and they had already shot the picture with Terry Richardson in the meat bikini for Vogue Hommes Japan. They told me that they wanted to make a main dress [out of meat], so I did it."

What kind of meat was it?

"I don't know what it's called in English, but in Argentina, it's called matambre. I went to my butcher to get it, in Los Angeles in the valley. He's the butcher that my family goes to. I'm trying to get him a signed picture of it."

How many pounds of meat did you buy?

"I bought a lot of meat because I wanted extra. I would say more than 50 pounds of meat. Is that a lot?"

How heavy was it?

"It was fairly heavy. She said it was the most comfortable dress of the night, though. I'm guessing it weighed around forty pounds. It's built on a corset, so the weight is distributed on her chest, so it's not like it's hanging off her neck."

Was it comfortable?

"She said so."

Were there leftovers?

"Not very much, no."

Did it leave a blood trail?

"No, not at all. It's actually very clean meat, very sturdy and strong and doesn't run at all. It's the meat you use to make a roast, where you roll it in a tortilla and put it in the oven. Hence, the shoes — that's why they were wrapped in butcher twine."

Did it smell?

"Gaga said it smelled good. It had a sweet smell. It hadn't been sitting out for more than five hours. And it's not a heavy gross meat."

Did you have to keep it refrigerated?

"While it was being made it was refrigerated, [worked on] and then refrigerated. It took a span of two days on and off. Maybe three with sourcing and getting materials and everything."

Will this dress "go bad"?

"Well, yes. And it's a dress that will dry out. The meat dries out, rather than rotting. It becomes jerky. But, it shouldn't be worn again."



Was the look designed, or did you drape it naturally?

"I just did the meat. You can't really design something that we're making out of organic pieces. It's like 'This piece can go here,' and you look at the cuts you have and you drape it."

How do you drape meat?

"I've done some draping, it just seemed logical to me. The way I was doing it, nothing about it was much of a challenge, except for the time it took. I had helping hands that were great. It was just sewing through meat, which is a little weird, but it's not rocket science. I just used regular string, some stronger thread, nothing unusual."

What did it feel like on Lady Gaga's body?

"There was a corset but the rest of it was skin on skin. Initially it was cold, but then it warmed up. Not too much, though. She said she wasn't warm at all, especially under those lights, it didn't heat up."

Did Gaga have to be sewn into the dress?

"She went in through the bottom. Some of it she was sewn into. I was backstage."

Did you treat the meat with any preservatives?

"No, not at all."

How did you transport the dress?

"I'm in Los Angeles. So, I had a little cooler that I carried it in — its own little coffin."

When Lady Gaga sat down, did the meat rub onto the chair upholstery?

"Well, it shouldn't have because it's not a sticky meat. It's not a messy dress at all, surprisingly. But I didn't see the seat after she sat on it. But I've been handling that meat for two days and there is nothing messy about it."

What would the dress feel like? Like for Cher and those who touched it?

"It would feel like meat I suppose. It's all natural."

What happens to the meat dress now?

"The dress will be put in an archive with all of her dresses. The Gaga Archives, I suppose. It won't last, that's the beauty of it. When it is brought out again, hopefully it will be in a retrospective, and it will be a different dress, which is the best thing. I like the idea of it changing and evolving into something else. My butcher said I could taxidermy it if I wanted it to stay the way it is, and I didn't want to stay that way. Seems like a waste to keep it that way, than to watch it change."

How did you come up with the idea of butcher strings on her shoes?

"I was referencing the whole meat theme. I bought the strings at a butcher supply store."

What were the crystal pieces on her meat purse?

"It’s an antique brooch that was applied to the meat."

Gaga said this dress represents that we shouldn't be treated like a piece of meat. What does this dress represent for you?
"I have to agree with her. I just think it looked great."

Where is it now?

"I'm not sure. She has people who handle everything, so it's with them."

Would you create this look again?

"I think it's just that—it's just the meat dress. There's not going to be meat dresses in the future. This was made for a specific purpose. It's what it is."

When you saw her wear this dress, what went through your mind?

"She's wearing my meat dress! It just looked great on her and she made it look easy and things come very naturally to her."

Top 10 Ugliest Celebs

I am one person who believes that there are no ugly people, we were all created by my Father and he knew what he was doing when He made our faces to look like they do. So I will not say anything about Lil Weezy, no I am not. I however have a problem however with people who look themselves in the mirror and decide that God was not thinking right when he created you and you therefor decide to do a lil som som for yourself so that you may look "perfect" for getting that you can never compete with your creator and the result....it is then that you become SUPER UGLY in my books.

This is also for those mamas who apply a lot of make up, trying to accentuate your look but you over do and end up looking like some one I know...yes you, you are not half as fly as the image in your cracked mirror...SUE ME!
So I embarked on a task of digging out some celebrity plastic surgery disasters and some of these goons will just shock you.

First off:

Marilyn Manson

Seriously … what the hell happened to this kid? From the ghostly white makeup you can see on his black collar to the funky blue eye and blood red lips … Marilyn Manson is a freak and there’s nothing more to say, he’s ugly by choice. And not only is he ugly, but he scares the crap out of us.

Jocelyn Wildenstein



Holy crap! This is what happens when you get obsessed with plastic surgery. A wealthy socialite from Switzerland, Jocelyn is actually a celeb for being so ugly. Her extreme appearance has led to the press giving her the nickname “The Bride of Wildenstein,” a reference to The Bride of Frankenstein. Wildenstein has allegedly spent almost US$4,000,000 on cosmetic surgery over the years, all payed by her husband, the billionaire international art dealer Alec Wildenstein. That amount of money should have bought her a magic mirror..you know the Snow White kind that talks back at ya...Word!

Michael Berryman



No, it is not make-up. This actor born in LA, suffers from Hypohidrotic Ectodermal Dysplasia (a rare condition leaving him with no sweat glands, hair, fingernails or teeth). Damn I'm smart. He played Pluto in Wes Craven’s 1977 horror film The Hills Have Eyes. He has also appeared in numerous science fiction and fantasy movies such as My Science Project (1985), Weird Science (1985), Armed Response (1986) and Evil Spirits (1990). He also appeared in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, and The Devil’s Rejects. Berryman generally portrays mutant bikers, evil undertakers, monsters and other frightening characters. He has also starred in episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation and The X-Files. (Quincy does research)

Clint Howard



No weird disease this time — he’s just plain ugly. But then, again, it is probably what made him famous. Born in 1959, the actor appeared in Cocoon, Steve Martin’s Parenthood, EdTV, Apollo 13, Austin Powers, That Thing You Do among others. In 1998, Howard was awarded the MTV Lifetime Achievement Award. He got married twice, just to show you that looks don’t matter. So my friend, there is hope yet for you.

Shane MacGowan



Donatella Versace


Oh, how the years go by. Yes, she’s talented, famous and rich, but… she’s now ugly as hell! Oh and by the way, this is the same person who is responsible for all the Versace clad you like so much. Beautiful stuff but her face looks like the sole of her worst Versace shoe...for men.

Amy Winehouse



English soul, jazz, and R&B singer and songwriter, she’s another drug victim. Now, get this: she has a number of “old school” tattoos of naked women on her body. When asked about them, she was quoted as saying “I like pin-up girls. I’m more of a boy than a girl in that way. I’m not a lesbian, though — not before a sambuca anyway. And the she said she would own a beauty salon once her singing schedule calms down… that’s a must. You see the gap between her teeth? She got that from a junky in rehab when she shouted at anaa junky saying "leave me alone you junky b@#$%"

Kelly Osbourne



“Uh, I’m ugly.” Yeah, we know Kelly. The British accent is cute and we love that she is all about being an individual, but quite frankly Kelly Osbourne’s annoying and a brat. And we’re not picking on her weight, because it fluctuates like the weather in Kajiado and we don’t care. Weight really can’t change whether you are ugly or not. And Kelly is on our list!

MJ Cemetery Charging 3 Bucks to Leave Gifts

It's gonna cost Michael Jackson fans if they want to continue leaving gifts inside the King of Pop's mausoleum -- because Str8up has learned the cemetery is now charging a special $3 MJ delivery fee. According to sources at the infamous burial space, Forest Lawn Cemetery in Glendale (I know my stuff), CA has decided to take down the stage where fans were previously allowed to place gifts -- and are now enacting a new gifting policy ... so long as fans pay the price and abide by the rules.

Effective immediately, cemetery staff will take gifts for MJ inside the mausoleum -- where fans are still forbidden from setting foot -- for a $3 fee ... oh yeah, as long as those gifts are flowers.

Anything else --So you and your teddy bears, posters, picture frames, candles -- will get dumped ... and if they run out of space inside, I hear excess gifts will have to brave the elements outside. If you don't like it you can go jump off a cliff.

Keep making that paper Michael, make it rain.

Hollywierd.....Insurance.

You would assume that insurance should be for medical, health or dental purposes or even your car! But if you have fame and fortune, it’s another story. Celebrities hold dear their private assets (a.k.a. body parts) so much so that they are willing to seal the deal with lucrative insurance policies worth up to $1 billion! Check out the 8 celebrities who took out (or should take out) these exorbitant policies. Some may surprise you:

Mariah Carey – Legs, $1 billion

Singer Mariah Carey wasn’t kidding around with dealers when she agreed to a $1 billion insurance policy on her legs. They’re the same legs she showcased via Gillette’s “Legs of a Goddess” advertisement in 2006.

America Ferrera – Smile, $10 million

Didn’t know smile insurance exists? Well, its does when you’re America Ferrera and the star of the television show, ‘Ugly Betty.’ It may be the wackiest deal ever made but a smile can be worth a thousand words when you’re the Beaver for Colgate Herbal. But if you are Ferrera, it is worth $10m. The company enlisted an insurance deal for $10 million on her bright smile. And it may pay off for her in the long run. Her folks named her America? I will name my child Madagascar.

Tina Turner– Legs, $3.2 million


The international singer tours like a world-class traveler, but touring comes at a price. No one’s legs are as important as Tina Turner’s legs. If something were to happen, her assets are covered for $3.2 million. She is 69 years of age and looks like that? wow!

Jennifer Lopez – Booty, $27 million


Jenny from the block or what we like to call her, J.Lo, is known for her bum more than her music. She has inspired other females to get a little junk in their trunk or booty enhancements to fill out their figure. So, we can understand (kind of) her $27 mil booty insurance expense. Gotta wonder, how does her toilet seat look like, better still, how mush is it worth? Remember when her ex hubby Ben Afleck bought her a diamond and emerald studded toilet seat? Hmmmm!!! I guess that's why her diab costs that much.

Rihanna – Legs, $1 million

Starlet musician Rihanna has a daring personality packed with sex appeal. Her legs have got $1 million worth of security. Hopefully those bodyguards can keep them safe too! She should have insured her face before Chris Breezy sorted it out when she was slapped senseless.

Angelina Jolie – Body, $1 billion


Angelina Jolie owns a killer body and lucrative deals. But what many may not know is that the mother of six has a policy out on her body for $1 billion in case it becomes disfigured during her career. And her African looking lips?

Sherri Shepherd – (Bust) $ 1 Million



Comedienne and “The View” co-host, Sherri Shepherd has expressed fondness for her bust on the show. Why not take out an insurance policy on them for precautionary measures, Madame Shepherd? She did, $1m dollars for each boob.

Beyonce – (Body)


Beyonce has natural beauty and curves that deserve some insurance, darn it! Breakdown: Face $10m, Neck $2m, Arms $3m for each, Waistline $2m, Hips $3m per hip, Booty $30m, Thighs $7m for each. Total: $63m

There are many others and I wonder why I do not have any info on male celebs...I guess the dudes just do not care for vanity, I mean if you are a sinf=ger and you insure your voice then hey, that is acceptable or if you are a movie star and you have landed a role that needs you to grow fat like a pig then slim down right after, acceptable but these other trivial issues, while there is still hunger in the wolrd? PAAALEASE.

Lady Gaga photographer Kicks after seeing Gaga

Me I know (hehe) that there is something wrong with that Gaga woman, again I refuse to call her Lady. Me I have always thought that she has issues beyond her control what with the kind of dressing that she wears....but in her case it's what she does not wear. Chick has been seen in the streets and social scenes wearing see through nets that reveal EVERYTHING and on a normal day she goes to mama mboga wearing nothing but a bra and undies. She has even worn a maggot magnet as in a meat bikini....where were the wild rabid dogs on that day? Oh the woman put the meat in her fridge and wore it again to the hot new restaurant. As she was getting out of her limo, a pack of wild dogs jumped her and ate her meat.

Gaga tried to get away, but the dogs kept biting her meat, tearing it off her. Several of Gaga’s body guards tried to pull the dogs away, but they were bitten on their hands and legs. The dogs -= two rottweilers, a pit bull and two mutts – were just too wild to control. Gaga fought the dogs with kicks, screams and a verse from her hit Speechless. Gaga, surprisingly, only sustained minor injuries. The dogs ate all her meat, however, and she was left nude on the sidewalk.

Representatives from PETA also denied rumors that they were responsible for the dog attack on Gaga’s meat. “We don’t like celebrities to wear furs and we certainly don’t like them to wear meat!” Lady Gaga had already explained her raw meat dress, “it’s not a matter of disrespectful to vegetarian persons.” She went on to say that if “we don’t fight we’ll all be meat soon.” She didn’t explain what or who we were fighting.

But as a consolation to PETA, Lady Gaga will be wearing only raw vegetables when she performs in Las Vegas this week. “I think I’ll look good in broccoli,” Gaga said.



Yani a bull had to die just because a woman wants an outfit!!! This mama clearly has a lot of beef (pun intended)

Did anyone see the Concert she did in Brito and the award ceremony a week before...Because of who I am, I will not describe what she had on, or did not have on because that is like so P.G. like totally!

Anyhu, and this brings me to the point of this story.

Apparently her paps, (official photographer) kufed after taking photos of that mama.
Gaga has become famous for her outfits as she has her music. She wears a new and bizarre outfit for every single event that she attends making her a prime for celebrity photographers.


On Monday night, it attended (at this point I do not know if she is human) the Ace Awards in New york City. Her photographer A.J Solkaner immediately took a photo of the alien...sorry Gaga, her face obscured in a spooky black veil. The guy moves kidogo like this aaaah, he collapsed on the red carpet! He was rushed to Bellevue Hospital and was pronounced dead on arrival. Phillip Vaughan the owner of ACE Pictures confirmed that he died of a heart attack. Dude was kido like thate fae (35) years old.

Was this a freak coincidence or something sinister?

My opinion? Me I think the reptile, sorry the alien...aaargh sorry Gaga may have shape shifting powers

Remember MPJ???

Remember the story that I did about some mama claiming to be Michael Jackson's seed, well not only was she dumped by her alleged mother Dr. Debra Lee Ross, Diana Ross' sister, the judge has also thrown her case out the window.

As I first reported, Mocienne Petit Jackson, who calls herself "MPJ" ati after her father "MJ"(I still insist that her first name sounds like Mushene as it should because she is full of it)filed documents back in July claiming that she is the love child created by Michael and Dr. Debra.

Mocienne also wanted custody of MJ's kids and a cut of the inheritance -- but those claims also went down in flames.

So this foko jembe thought that since she is suffering Vitiligo, that disease that makes your bum lighter, ati she would not only get money from MJ's estate, but also his WHITE kids saying "I want to give them a normal life" SHUT UP YOUR MOUTH!!!